Motherhood

This is an understatement! Things happen all the time to remind me of how blessed I truly am to be a mom.

My life isn’t perfect. I wish for many things. More financial security, more consistency in my husband’s job. More material possessions and less stress do nothing compared to having to spend my time alone or living with no purpose.

My family keeps me grounded. I fought responsibility for years! I don’t think of my twenties as wasted time though. I consider all of those years as experience to prepare me for motherhood. Not to save for diapers or live as carelessly as possible, but to show me that nothing in life would ever compare to being a mom.

God specifically designed my life to make me the best I could be for my son.

No matter what I have planned, it taught me that it might not be the plan for my life. Now my constant struggle is to remain content with the trust I’ve developed in my faith. Some days are more difficult than others to let go of the control I tend to believe I need. Others have a funny way of reminding me that the focus on my family is ALL I’ll ever dream of needing. Because everything else is unnecessary!

I still tend to get excited when I hear someone say “your mom” about me to my son. It’s the funniest feeling like I’m in a beautiful dream, like a really vivid moment that seems too good to be true! Even after the long road with my teenage stepson, reading his words on the Mother’s Day card he wrote to me were surreal.

“You’re the only mom I’ve ever had”, “you make me happy and always think of me”. When I get upset about things that will never be important enough to justify negativity, I think of those words. Or how I’ve never felt as powerful a love like I feel for my baby boy.

Life is good.

I’ve had to make my site private on different occasions in the past two weeks. I appreciate those that are understanding and still reading. As a mom, my first priority is to protect my family. I’ve learned I can maintain my own transparency as long as it only positively impacts my personal life and never causes harm to my children.

It seems I’ve finally found my rhythm-I’m able to maintain my own autonomy by having simple limits that were necessary. I’ve found that it’s possible to be completely open and honest as a blogger, even to show readers vulnerability, without disclosing personal details of those I care about in my life.

I really never read any blogs prior to starting my own. I had seen some that focused on entertainment, but I’ve only just now been introduced to the trend of “lifestyle blogging”. Believe it or not, I saw a SAHM blog I’d enjoyed but didn’t completely relate. That’s the extent of my blog knowledge!

Then one day I saw what seemed to be an opinionated post shared on Facebook written as a letter to “non-custodial parents”. I was genuinely infuriated. If I’m going to be completely honest, my infuriation grew exponentially when I realized it was shared from a blog of a — wait for it, licensed therapist.

First of all the blog was extremely judgmental and I didn’t understand how someone with the same credentials could be so blatantly ignorant to assume that they have a right to that opinion then to go a step further and speak on behalf of custodial parents as if they’re expected to take absolutely zero responsibility for the failure of the co-parenting relationship.

It was absurd!! This was written by a professional! One who like me, has to hold herself to a higher standard than others and model compassion, empathy and unconditional positive regard–oh, yes, you recognize those words – as our basic principles of counseling and psychotherapy!

I decided first of all, let’s be honest-she was NOT writing to “non-custodial parents”, she was clearly addressing fathers. Deadbeat dads. And most importantly, she was using a platform under the premise of “all” when it was painfully obvious there was a very significant ONE to whom she was speaking directly.

Obviously if someone that doesn’t consider how each parent has individual circumstances she doesn’t know, or care to understand, can put such a dangerous opinion out, why couldn’t I try to enhance my field by blogging? Maybe use my passion for my career and my God-given purpose as a mother combined to create something others could relate to… in POSITIVE way.

So instead of these superficial style blogs that ultimately are only advertisements for clothes, I would explore a way to show my perspective of the truth. The struggle! The blessings and the rewards.

I’m able to share my experiences, process my thoughts and feelings about anything I believe is necessary, even verbalize my goals – and admit my defeat or identify my own flaws to create accountability for myself. This can all be done separately from the people I love. This is not a family blog, it’s MY blog. That seems to be the confusing part. This is only about my perspective as a mother, wife and therapist. The only things that truly matter to me!

All of that to say, I have had some pretty intense struggles in the past two weeks and like everything else, things have finally found a way of getting better. I’m reminded daily of how blessed I am! Now it’s time to focus on the future and I have to admit, my life is pretty damn good (even with the bad).

Xoxo

Update:

I forgot to publish my last blog so these will probably end up close in proximity. I’m excited to announce we decided on a name!

Drum roll… * Rocco *

Also our new photos from today just melt my heart!

It was an interesting evening/morning with little sleep and the two little ones playing bright and early at 6 am! (This momma doesn’t typically see 6 in the morning unless I am thinking “oh, thank God, its not quite time to get up yet” or “run to the bathroom and run back to bed so fast you don’t have to wake up completely!”) but it was actually not that bad [just yet] waking up to see my sweet son playing with his new puppy!

Day 2: last night was a lot tougher. Mommy got woke up every couple hours by a crated, screaming Rocco. He ended up back in the bed at 3 again then up at 7. I know this will get better but I’m definitely reminded of why we put off getting a new puppy for so long…

Xoxo,

A very sleepy {inspired therapist} 😴

I. Can’t. Even!

I don’t know where to start.

I’ll just say it.
WE GOT A NEW DOG!

AHHHHHH! I’m actually so beyond excited, nervous about this responsibility, and emotionally overwhelmed to see all of the love our family has to give… but PISSED that I was surprised with this dog as a present instead of carefully choosing the puppy and controlling the situation completely.

In complete honesty, I’m actually relieved that it was totally done for me and thankful that this sweet little guy is actually the almost exact puppy I would choose myself – in a very strange, almost-destiny-level coincidence.

So – my toddler is in love with his new best friend. He also cries and fights him for all of his toys with the same breath he uses to proclaim his affection for him.

We need a name. Not just any name. The PERFECT name. This is important to us…

Here’s a list of some possibilities we’ve considered, or have been suggested that are contenders:

1. Boscoe
2. Boston
3. Rocco
4. Blaze
5. Blazer
6. Bronco
7. Baxter
8. Tank
9. Baker

This couldn’t have been more perfect timing for our family. I know I talk a lot in my blogs about how I balance my two major focuses:. family & career. We’ve always debated getting a pet, but always agreed that when the timing was right, it would happen – no sooner.

The timing was right on June 6, 2018!

Our new puppy has beautiful greenish-gray eyes and a red spotted nose. He’s white and brown with some stripes and patches of mixed colors, resulting in the name Patches from the litter. I was told his parents are brindle and red. He’s very young but pretty big – either a little older than what we’re told (6ish weeks, yikes!) I know, I know, pups aren’t supposed to be weaned until 8-9 weeks, right? He actually looks like he’s closer to 8, 9 or even 10 weeks. I’ll share some photos when I can!

If anyone has suggestions for our new puppy’s name – PLEASE leave a comment! I love unique names and I’m so excited for the perfect name to come along for our newest member of our family. Until next time!

Oh my, weekend.

Part one:

In an attempt to literally escape from the daily grind, I took my youngest to visit his grandparents for this past weekend.

It was the perfect escape at the right moment. We needed Nana & Papa!

My parents have always been very active in my children’s lives. I’m their only child (explains so much, right? *wink wink*) and they welcomed my blended family including proudly accepting them as their grandchildren with no hesitation. It’s an incredible task to describe how important my family is to my parents and how much we love seeing them weekly. They consider their son-in-law no different than their actual son and the feeling has always been mutual. (Sometimes he calls them more than I do!)

My mom had an unexpected, somewhat serious surgery almost a month ago, interrupting our plans for Mother’s Day weekend and taking our traditional family-Sundays away for almost a month. I’m sure you can imagine how tough this was on everyone. Those Sundays have become crucial quality time to our kids and their grandparents’, with even Dad calling to ask when Nana & Papa would be able to come back to see us.

We thought it was best for Nana to stay home and continue to recover, making it easier for us to get out of town instead of them doing the dirty work of the long drive.

This weekend’s visit consisted of relaxing, reading, napping, eating, playing, sprinkler- time, four-wheeler riding, porch-sittin’… and several hours of women’s college softball championship-watching (the ladies at the University of Oklahoma were finally eliminated on Sunday morning as my whole family are total super-fans).

It resembled a nice weekend escape to a familiar, comfortable B&B in the woods, where the guests just happen to be some of our favorite people on the planet…

Part two:

Since my toddler and I had time to relax and bond with our family, I had time to do extra reading, my own rambling notes of journaling which helps me write my blogs!

I had some time to reflect and practice some much needed positive thinking and practical research. And some praying for a little extra guidance.

Overall I have been working hard to make daily improvements as a therapist, which consists of bettering my professional identity in order to BE a better clinician, and making my field better as a supervisor, which of course overall helps make my pockets bigger!

Since I’m proud of my progress, I’ve wanted to shift focus to continue also striving to be an overall BETTER person, mommy and wife.

So I decided to dig deep in my faith this past week to get the clarity I need, put more effort to be positive and focused about my family’s future and consistently balance my career. Writing your goals as a therapist is helpful, but making your visions happen is the most important… Now I’m seeing those goals being achieved! Time for family goals, as well.

I decided to start a new series including my new FAVE list! Who doesn’t love lists? HA! (I promise I’ll actually finish this series…)

The type A people always say, just make a list – and me, being VERY type B fights organization of all kind. So here is my effort in being more “type A”.

My blessings (/all the positive things in my life to remind me that no matter how negative things can get, I’ve got immense blessings and wonderful hopes to be thankful for):

1. My baby boy that changed my entire identity from Amy, to Mommy*
2. My baby’s father who would do ABSOLUTELY anything for me and his children
3. My parents-who have ALWAYS been there for me, through the good and bad
4. My stepchildren and extended family that makes me feel fulfilled with life and hope, those that will always back us when we need them – our circle
5. My career doing what I was BORN to do, help others CHANGE their lives
6. My material blessings that are necessary to be a successful person (vehicle, home, everything that my spouse and I have acquired and continue to strive to provide for our children)
7. The love and support from my friends (old and new) and co-workers who help me daily!
8. The community and our home – Oklahoma – I’ve lived in other amazing areas but seriously. There’s no place like home….
9. My family (me included) has great health!
10. My ability and training to actually be ABLE to practice therapy and provide for my family. It happens to be something I am truly passionate about, proud to have achieved from my education and training, plus the opportunity my credentials have to continue moving higher and one day achieve my all of my professional goals!

This is so exciting! I’m thinking about tons of other possibilities coming from this first list, not only to keep me positive but to remind me to keep my focus and keep reaching higher!

What are some of your blessings/positive rewards in your life? Feedback is always appreciated!!

Xoxo,

Amy {the inspired therapist}