Inspired thoughts

I’m the world’s worst at trying to accommodate others – not uncommon in “helping” professionals. More specifically, I’ve noticed some patterns in myself. Those behaviors include being over-apologetic, taking most of the blame or explaining away others mistakes to resolve conflicts quickly and avoid tension.

I’ve noticed that I tend to lead with my flaws, even though I’m a pretty confident person, especially as a therapist which makes me dissect this part of my personality in effort to grow.

My question to you: when is being flexible with others too much?

I find myself being quick to take responsibility for miscommunication between myself and others. It seems like even this is not enough for some, because they take advantage of it and still refuse any accountability. I find myself irritated with other people’s lack of humility.

Why is it so difficult for some to recognize their mistakes or even to acknowledge that they could have accidentally misunderstood, miscommunicated, etc.? I’ve reached my limit with specific people that I’m recognizing as unfair to my kindness. I realize that I’ve got to practice what I preach/teach. I have to be more assertive in some situations. That’s obviously my problem to tackle.

This is my challenge to navigate, which is not impossible. Thankfully I’m self-aware enough to put some effort into this. However, as a therapist I’ve always had a bit of a curse to evaluate the reasoning behind those who choose the position that I continue to encounter in my professional and personal life.

My reason for the blog is inspired from these particular questions after the ideas surfaced in some discussions with my family and friends.

I tend to sense a common trait in the person in this situation and that’s why I’m having the difficulty understanding them.

Maybe it’s just me! Maybe I have been through a journey that’s taught me to show others that I’m a human being capable of making mistakes in a very vital part of introducing one to the idea of therapy. This is probably more of a subconscious process to create collusion and trust. I’ve always been told that people in the the therapeutic process engage with me easily and quickly.

After a lot of thought, I’m seeing that although it seems like it’s strange that this isn’t common sense… many people haven’t realized that it’s a little ridiculous to be critical of others. In 2018 if you have the nerve to be judgmental, do you really think that other people believe the concept you’re attempting to present?

Perfection is NOT possible. In fact, the people so arrogant to assume they always know the answer completely discredit themselves. Especially when they attack others that seem to make them feel threatened.

Every single person is always in a learning process. Those open to the process, are even changing and growing throughout their experiences! Unfortunately, the people that need to be open to that growth or learn ways to be better in general seem to be in denial that they can always improve. The ones that especially bother me are those that have made major mistakes, as a parent (those are at the top of the list because it has affected children) or they’ve hurt other people – they seem to be the ones I’ve noticed in this pattern of behavior the most!

If you’ve ever had a problem with a substance, yes – even those that say “I used to drink too much” or take too much prescription drugs (yes, I know you’ll argue because “hey, it’s prescribed to me”) you have had a problem. This puts you in an addict category. If you’re not familiar with addiction, and seem to have never had any issues-ha! Good for you! We ALL have our weaknesses. Our character flaws. It’s rare that you’ve been able to avoid all mental illness and addiction. I’m not being harsh-it’s just reality. My mantra was for years, “some are sicker than others”. Meaning: great for you that you’ve been blessed to not have to beg for help or forgiveness. But at some point, we all need to.

Either way I’d put money on it that the statistics are high that so many people have, at the very least gone through tough times. These are all my reasons to believe that EVERYONE should have compassion for others.

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