Fun facts you may not know about… dun-dun-dun, me: The Inspired Therapist!

Since it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted a blog, and I – of course, have yet to finish all the drafts on more interesting topics, I had to come back with a bang about yours truly! I hope you enjoy some insight and stick around for a new update post, as well as a new pop culture series!

How about a top 10 list! Let’s begin.

  1. I am passionate and very proud to be a licensed therapist (duh) *wink, wink* – but what you may not know is that I also hold my undergraduate degree in business! As strange as it sounds, at a young age I planned to be a female executive or own a company. My family would be first to admit I was known for my bossy attitude. So I decided I would go to business school and chase my dream to be an entrepreneur. I was hooked when I took my first management course in college but after I obtained my first degree, I realized that what I’d truly loved learning is the ‘psychology’ of managing people. Not the business side of people. No financial stuff. No accounting, no variable cost ratio. No NUMBERS – just people. People were my “thing”… Hence, going to graduate school back to my psych roots and the rest is history!
  2. I was born a nurturer and deep inside, destined to be a mother. However, the headstrong academic side of me knew I needed many years of education (and some growth/life experience) before I was ready for parenthood. Looking back on those years, I realize now that I was experiencing a very specific process that prepared me to become the mother God created me to be. All of the ups and downs, all of the work as a children’s therapist, even the difficulty of navigating relationships with people and substances-my heart could never have been more understanding to what a mother had to possess until I was given a child. I’m now a firm believer in timing, faith and divine reasoning.
  3. I am now in my fourth year of sobriety. I choose to be a sober mother. Now. I may change my mind one day in the future, but for these years I look back and feel such pride and purpose as my child’s mother. For me personally, the meaning of that time is immeasurable.
  4. I am an only child. This may be the reason my loving hubby says I’m spoiled… I don’t totally disagree with that, however it doesn’t mean that I’m superficial, or by any means shallow. I admit I’m a bit high maintenance and definitely like nice things! I just hope to teach my children hard work ethic in addition to enjoying nicer possessions. And more importantly than anything I hope that I’m teaching my kids nothing on the planet is more important than the relationships with people we love and respect.
  5. If you read this blog, you’re probably aware that growth is crucial for my life goals. I’ve changed so much throughout my years- hopefully in positive ways, even maturing in political beliefs! I used to identify as almost a bleeding heart liberal but I have become very conservative over the years. It would be too much detail if I went into depth but I could summarize my outlook as much of a fiscal libertarian, or a moderate conservative for the past few years in my career and tax bracket.
  6. Guilty pleasure alert: I LOVE reality television! My absolute fave channel is Bravo. Basically all that is on Bravo is constant DRAMA! But I love it. I tell my other half to hush when he complains and that as long as I get to watch reality tv, be entertained by other people’s silly drama, we have zero need for it in our life!
  7. Speaking of drama, I have finally realized that when someone in my life brings unnecessary negativity, I block them in every way possible! Now I’m fairly sure that it’s evident to those specific folks, I’ve reached a new level of confidence. Why would I allow anyone to cause me or my family pain? If someone wants to criticize my character, as a parent OR ANYTHING for that matter, then they’re no longer in my life or my child’s.
  8. I’ve broken more bones than I can count. Yes. Number 8 is that I’m clumsy! The second time I broke my wrist (yes – second), I had to have pins surgically inserted! I once fell off a porch backwards at my first college party, as a brand new sorority member and broke my foot. A few years later I fell going UP a porch and broke my other foot! I’m not making any of this up!
  9. I’m chronically late. For everything in my life and to be honest, I’m pretty convinced I have developed ADHD as an adult. I am the queen of starting projects and never finishing, I cannot make a decision for the life of me, and most of all I can’t even make a deadline! Of course, I also have a three year old… at times I feel accomplished just having got dressed from my pajamas. *shrug*
  10. Lastly, my one single possession that truly means more to me than any pair of shoes in my closet or my absolute weakness (designer purses) is my beautiful ring. Seriously I’d give up my collections of books, any technology devices, pretty much anything in order to keep my beloved ring. This ring is the most exquisite and incredibly beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever been given. It symbolizes our family that we’ve created together despite the challenges we’ve faced. We’ve surpassed the expectations and beat the odds of blended family statistics. Plus I honestly never imagined this man would have the ability to buy me the ring of my dreams! 💗

Stay tuned for more an update blog post next!

Blog visions + photos 🎀

I hope you enjoyed my Visualizing Goals blog! If you haven’t seen it, Read it here.

As I discussed in that blog, I’m hoping to share with my readers more than just my thoughts. I’m hoping to create a digital vision board! I’ve noticed a pattern in my blogs that I like and don’t plan to change. I discuss ideas, experiences and pose questions to my readers then try to share photos of my life. Obviously I love to share so why wouldn’t I continue that concept with things that benefit others and keep me focused on ideas of my own!?

I wanted to make sure my reasoning was clear for any need to post ideas, products or items. I also want to be careful to share where to find awesome stuff I love! I’m not partnered or advertising so I’m sincere in sharing things I actually use and of course what’s worth extra if I feel so inclined!

I see tons of lifestyle blogs now. Maybe because I’m not really on Facebook anymore and my taste has changed. I typically spend my social media time on Instagram so I’m noticing quite the trend in lifestyle blogs. I’m really a little more interested in mom blogs so feel free to share in the comments!

Lifestyle blogs are great, but the general idea seems to be – forgive me if this sounds hateful – basic…

These bloggers have awesome lives, please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I am just confused about how they actually support themselves. Sharing clothes with readers does not seem like it could pay my bills. Is this naive of me?

I know that influencers have specific opportunities on Instagram that others don’t. I’m pretty sure they have contracts with sponsors. Still, product lines and all, does this make up for not having a regular career? Maybe the ones I am wondering about are not actually business owners so I should clarify.

Hey, I’m excited for women to reach financial security – especially mothers!! Come to think of it, I’ve rarely seen too many men bloggers. I’ve actually never seen a dad blog. This is definitely showing me that I need to continue researching blogging and reading blogs. How are you supposed to be great if you don’t learn everything you can about the subject, right?

I did a little revamp of my Instagram and designed some cute pictures to organize my highlights. In doing that I noticed I only have 388 followers. Of course I’m a little picky about who I even allowed to see my Instagram, and have been keeping it private so I’m seriously going to have to start being more open if I actually want followers. Which seems to me like a no-brainer. Followers = blog readers, right?

And I used to make fun of my teenager when he would brag about his followers! Ha! The tables have sure turned.

Any suggestions? I’m ALL ears!

As always, here’s some awesome (and some silly) photos of my kids and fam from the past weekend at the lake for our nephew’s birthday.

Xoxo 😘

Inspired to Blog

One of my favorite parts about my career is – take a guess!

Hint, it’s definitely not the 20 hours of paperwork for a week of providing psychotherapy.

It’s the resulting introspection from the years of spending many hours with people learning about their problems, that forces me to confront mine.

It’s not easy to see some of your problems when you’re spending days and days with other people talking about theirs. It comes with the territory.

THIS is the process that inspired me. It inspired me to start pouring it out of my brain. I had so much to say because I’ve not only been a licensed therapist for many years, I’ve been through tough times AS that therapist that has given me an extremely thankful perspective. I’ve reached points in my career where I had to re-evaluate, be honest with myself, face my own demons, change myself and RE-focus as a person that is CAPABLE of helping others. This also comes with the territory.

You can only deny problems for so long. If you decide to face those issues, quitting bad habits, making a commitment to a spiritual journey, to face those challenges even when you don’t know if you can make it through – you’re able to look back later as a better individual with more VALUABLE experiences in your heart and soul.

I believe this is what has inspired me to not only focus on MORE positive changes and growth, but to give my professional identity exactly what it has given me: VALUE. Education. Research. Commitment, dedication, and ABSOLUTE devotion. If I don’t do this in my life, I can never deserve the benefits I receive daily.

So in effort to make a more valuable blog, that gives not just me satisfaction – but my readers who are taking the time to give me a chance, MORE beneficial SUBSTANCE.

Recovery/sobriety, motherhood/parenting, psychotherapy, supervision for licensure, research, learning, growth and passion are just a FEW of the components that you’ll find in this website to create a more informative, well-rounded and inclusive journey to a better version of myself. I have an obligation to my profession (clients, administrators, support, supervisees, community) and I’ve decided to put it in a public format to hold myself accountable to this unique lifestyle.

I know there’s other mom therapists in the world. Now I’m devoting myself to a niche of that group – mom therapist BLOGGERS. They’re also out there and I can’t wait to find more. I’m excited to learn how to reach my audience more, engage with my readers and be the perfectionist-slacker I am in everything else!

If you are interested in more ways to reach people through blogging and how to not FAIL at the whole experience – check this out:

How to Create Engaging Content

I’ve only just begun researching this and I’m excited to show you more that speaks to me.

Enjoy!

 

Mommy’s baby…

Is TURNING THREE!!!

It’s so bittersweet.

I have a very special bond with him that I’m sure other parents know and feel with their children. I was so lost when God gave me my son. I told my little boy yesterday (I realize that his understanding of this information is limited) that mommy and daddy prayed for him before he was born. Right when God had brought me to the point that I was ready, boom! I found out he was growing inside me!

The rest is history!

I’ve never in my life felt more complete, truly happy and full of deep love. There’s nothing like the feelings that come with parenthood. I can’t even describe how thankful I feel daily. Each time I find myself upset about anything at all, I’m reminded of how amazing life is because of my baby boy.

I hope he feels extra special this year! I’ve never worked close enough to his daycare to run over mid-day to surprise him. I’m going to shower him with lots of love and attention in the morning, bring cupcakes to his class, then the whole family will be at the lake in a cabin for the weekend to celebrate! We’ve got lots of exciting details planned for our big 3 year old!

I’ll be posting lots of photos, I promise!

Xoxo

Amy

Marriage ramblings…

So I have come to realize I have very predictable patterns of behavior depending on how well I stay organized, if I strictly follow my work schedule and I complete my documentation. The more I slack off, or what my husband would call “be lazy”/what I call self-care, the more I lose control of my workload – which results in a punishment for ME at the end of the month.

The more I stay on top of everything, the smoother my ‘end of month’ goes, the better my mood, the lower my stress, and most of all – the better life is for my family…

Some are worse than others, and folks, this one was bad. It was also the end of the fiscal year.

So I spent a LOT of hours catching up over the weekend and decided to start a marathon somewhere in the middle of a season of mindless, trashy, reality television – MY FAVE.

Have you seen 90 Day Fiancé?

*insert evil laugh followed by eyeroll*

The best way to describe it is a trainwreck, as is all reality tv of course, but this specific show and others stemming from it, has apparently been on for many seasons. We just started watching it in the past few months. When I say “we” I mean ME, and my husband pretends like he’s not watching, but occasionally makes fun of something ridiculous on the current episode which tells me he is paying more attention than he wants to admit. Also if I find out about some juicy detail of a character in real life and act like a teenager gossiping, he knows exactly who I’m talking about.

So regardless if you’ve seen this particularly fascinating, but time-wasting series, you’ve seen something either similar or at least in the same realm of he idea. It’s the critical thinking I do during and after the show that prompted me to write about it for once.

Back to 90 Day Fiancé:

As I watched these couples argue, then show affection, then bicker repetitively and eventually return to treating each other poorly, I started to wonder if I was seeing a trend that is indicative of real life or just a theme of the majority of “reality tv”. Which, by the way seems to be one of many patterns I’ve noticed in this genre that we’ve become obsessed with watching, blogging about, photographing like they’re actual celebrities, the list goes on… no wonder I find this whole phenomenon fascinating! Who doesn’t enjoy being entertained?

Regardless if the specific show is half-scripted or not, I have to admit I’ve seen this pattern in real life – MANY times. Even *gasp* in my own relationship! Yes, I said it – it happens to everyone!

As I was watching these people say the most awful things to their spouses, I do what I always try doing in my thoughts. I consider my immediate reaction from the other side, as a type of devil’s advocate to sort of hold myself accountable before creating a false belief about what I’m recognizing. I love this type of self-reflection…

As a way to illustrate my point, I’ll describe a simple scenario. I’m with my little family and we’re at another extended family member’s home. We notice that there is an obvious tension between one couple and try to avoid discomfort by ignoring the bickering. We notice that the husband says something to the wife that makes her feel [insert negative emotion] (i.e. sad, ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated), she immediately responds to him without considering his feelings or the consequences by attacking something personal about him. She is attempting to create the same emotion for him that she is feeling. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t eat that second burger since those pants are so tight!”

Outsiders have no idea what is happening or why this couple seems to be trading insults. Others automatically start formulating their own ideas, details and possible explanations which lead to some type of judgment. “My brother-in-law was wrong to say _____ “.

As the audience to a show that is designed to look like these “real-life” situations, we are making our own assumptions in order to understand. It’s safe to say that everyone has experienced a time when you’ve been guilty of an extreme opinion, maybe even one that is judgmental about another relationship. We do this out of understanding, not to be malicious. Especially when the couple is choosing to be in public, on television, or in front of others, their choices have consequences to what others believe about them.

I’ve been that person that attacks. I am the wife that gets angry on occasion and insults my partner or has said awful things that I regret. I remember the specific thought, “I can’t believe I said that to him”. I’m the QUEEN of apologizing. I want to say I’m sorry as quickly as possible to get back to normal ASAP. I HATE confrontation. This is my nature. I don’t know if I’ve always been this way or it’s come with age and maturity. Life is too short and I’m too blessed to be upset with someone I love more than anything. I wish we could remember these things before we get angry EACH and every time – but hey, we’re only human.

After some self-reflection watching 90 Day Fiancé, I realized that the only difference between “us” (the so-called real people) and “them” (the people on television) is that they’re on camera. We are watching. No one is watching us and telling us what we are doing wrong or even right. I want to always be better. Be better than yesterday or years ago, I want to learn ways to avoid problems. I want to avoid having to say I’m sorry, when we can prevent the incident from happening in the first place.

What do you think of my ideas about couples attacking because they’re hurt? What reasons have you said things to your spouse that you later regret?

Till next time y’all…

xoxo