Fun facts you may not know about… dun-dun-dun, me: The Inspired Therapist!

Since it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted a blog, and I – of course, have yet to finish all the drafts on more interesting topics, I had to come back with a bang about yours truly! I hope you enjoy some insight and stick around for a new update post, as well as a new pop culture series!

How about a top 10 list! Let’s begin.

1. I am passionate and very proud to be a licensed therapist (duh) *wink, wink* – but what you may not know is that I also hold my undergraduate degree in business! As strange as it sounds, at a young age I planned to be a female executive or own a company. My family would be first to admit I was known for my bossy attitude. So I decided I would go to business school and chase my dream to be an entrepreneur. I was hooked when I took my first management course in college but after I obtained my first degree, I realized that what I’d truly loved learning is the ‘psychology’ of managing people. Not the business side of people. No financial stuff. No accounting, no variable cost ratio. No NUMBERS – just people. People were my “thing”… Hence, going to graduate school back to my psych roots and the rest is history!
2. I was born a nurturer and deep inside, destined to be a mother. However, the headstrong academic side of me knew I needed many years of education (and some growth/life experience) before I was ready for parenthood. Looking back on those years, I realize now that I was experiencing a very specific process that prepared me to become the mother God created me to be. All of the ups and downs, all of the work as a children’s therapist, even the difficulty of navigating relationships with people and substances-my heart could never have been more understanding to what a mother had to possess until I was given a child. I’m now a firm believer in timing, faith and divine reasoning.
3. I am now in my fourth year of sobriety. I choose to be a sober mother. Now. I may change my mind one day in the future, but for these years I look back and feel such pride and purpose as my child’s mother. For me personally, the meaning of that time is immeasurable.
4. I am an only child. This may be the reason my loving hubby says I’m spoiled… I don’t totally disagree with that, however it doesn’t mean that I’m superficial, or by any means shallow. I admit I’m a bit high maintenance and definitely like nice things! I just hope to teach my children hard work ethic in addition to enjoying nicer possessions. And more importantly than anything I hope that I’m teaching my kids nothing on the planet is more important than the relationships with people we love and respect.
5. If you read this blog, you’re probably aware that growth is crucial for my life goals. I’ve changed so much throughout my years- hopefully in positive ways, even maturing in political beliefs! I used to identify as almost a bleeding heart liberal but I have become very conservative over the years. It would be too much detail if I went into depth but I could summarize my outlook as much of a fiscal libertarian, or a moderate conservative for the past few years in my career and tax bracket.
6. Guilty pleasure alert: I LOVE reality television! My absolute fave channel is Bravo. Basically all that is on Bravo is constant DRAMA! But I love it. I tell my other half to hush when he complains and that as long as I get to watch reality tv, be entertained by other people’s silly drama, we have zero need for it in our life!
7. Speaking of drama, I have finally realized that when someone in my life brings unnecessary negativity, I block them in every way possible! Now I’m fairly sure that it’s evident to those specific folks, I’ve reached a new level of confidence. Why would I allow anyone to cause me or my family pain? If someone wants to criticize my character, as a parent OR ANYTHING for that matter, then they’re no longer in my life or my child’s.
8. I’ve broken more bones than I can count. Yes. Number 8 is that I’m clumsy! The second time I broke my wrist (yes – second), I had to have pins surgically inserted! I once fell off a porch backwards at my first college party, as a brand new sorority member and broke my foot. A few years later I fell going UP a porch and broke my other foot! I’m not making any of this up!
9. I’m chronically late. For everything in my life and to be honest, I’m pretty convinced I have developed ADHD as an adult. I am the queen of starting projects and never finishing, I cannot make a decision for the life of me, and most of all I can’t even make a deadline! Of course, I also have a three year old… at times I feel accomplished just having got dressed from my pajamas. *shrug*
10. Lastly, my one single possession that truly means more to me than any pair of shoes in my closet or my absolute weakness (designer purses) is my beautiful ring. Seriously I’d give up my collections of books, any technology devices, pretty much anything in order to keep my beloved ring. This ring is the most exquisite and incredibly beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever been given. It symbolizes our family that we’ve created together despite the challenges we’ve faced. We’ve surpassed the expectations and beat the odds of blended family statistics. Plus I honestly never imagined this man would have the ability to buy me the ring of my dreams! 💗

Stay tuned for more an update blog post next!

Welcome to 2018 Ms. Inspired Therapist

I’m going to try something different for this blog. I’d like to try to focus on some new topics that are more interesting or somewhat known by the general public. This could include newsworthy events or entertainment-related stories!

Since I see teens and young people in my career, I try to stay knowledgeable about current trends. I realized recently that I’ve been behind a few years when I finally accepted that my 14 year old was right when he kept discounting his dad and my level of understanding in the social media world.

It’s a bad sign when you have no idea what your teenage son is talking about when you were under the impression that you’re hip. Ha!

It was time to do some research.

So I’ve had an Instagram for a while but I literally only used it for posting pictures TO my Facebook. I didn’t even pay attention to my newsfeed or anything others posted! I actually deactivated my “lame” Facebook as my son puts it, to disconnect from negative people that have NO real value in my life. Then I got hooked on using Instagram for its actual purpose!

Y’all, there’s a world of fascinating people, places and knowledge on that platform. I learned that I was totally clueless about new music especially hip hop, which happens to be the best possible way to connect with my clients (and child)…

I’ve been keeping up with new fashion trends, music, entertainment, news and I’ve even found a place to locate mom bloggers, therapist bloggers and all kinds of information I wasn’t aware existed!

I’m dying to have more interaction on my blog from readers and I’m considering using Instagram as a platform for my blog! This is where I need your feedback because of my lack of experience.

Should I start posting as a blogger and make effort to gain followers? I’ve noticed that I’ve started to get some follow requests from other bloggers and I’ve always had my personal info on any social media set to private for security purposes. I know it’s not safe to allow too much information out especially when you’re a mother-on top of that, a very small woman as well. I tend to avoid danger or risk being under five foot and also a licensed therapist due to my clients being allowed to know only what I want them to know.

If anyone has experience in any of the above please help a girl out!

Recent pictures:

Family trees: part 1

We’ve had a very emotional day, week, month…

And I decided to write a series to help myself process the experience.

I talked about the situation with our 14 year old son’s custody in an earlier blog but had been unwilling to give too much detail. I’m still not comfortable giving all of the details because he’s a minor and until he is 18, I want to protect his privacy as much as I possibly can.

As you know, every story has different perspectives, and I would never attempt to tell anyone else’s past-only my perspective of what I’ve seen and experienced. There are multiple people in a family and individuals can be hurt if someone carelessly discusses an experience that they see as inaccurate. I’m not interested in using my blog (that I open my heart to share with others), as a way to gossip. So if anyone has come across this & happens to disagree with my writing, or is under the impression that I have to limit my blog based on your specific agenda – I hope I’ve made my intentions very clear – Or feel free to read another blog instead.

My son has made some mistakes and the most recent one has affected me.

He’s a great kid. Charismatic, confident, funny, loving, hopeful, optimistic and very caring. He is especially considerate of his family. I’ve seen him grow and start to mature in some ways, going from easily punching a wall to now being capable of managing his anger, communicating his feelings and articulating ideas-even about his future goals or others’ needs! He’s got a long road to travel but it’s been a very special journey for me to watch him make some steps in the right direction.

When he first came to live with us, he had no interest in holding a baby, nor did he seem to know how to respond to his baby brother. He was very guarded-which was expected, knowing his history. The closer he got to his brother, the broader the changes became.

I’ve learned more than I could begin to describe as my role changed over our time together. I had very minimal expectations for the relationship between us and tried to be honest with myself throughout our time spent as a family. I’ve come to realize just how much I have learned about myself as a wife, mother and the unique position I have as a caregiver.

It took time to build a bond between all of us but the nice part for all three of the males in my home is that they’re connected by blood. There is a natural fluidity between them. I’m the “odd man out” as you’d say, and by the grace of God connected to just my toddler. If anyone could’ve told me that just before my child’s third birthday I would look at his brother and see him as my son too, I’d have had trouble believing in that possibility.

Here we are, all together, but missing a piece of our hearts. Yes, there is yet another brother out in the world as well. (As I said from the moment he was mentioned, BD has a “complicated past” and along with that comes a fruitful life for a man not even 40 yet!)

I know that I have a responsibility to my toddler. No matter my feelings about my spouse’s past, his choices in former companions or how many wonderful young humans were created, my little boy is my greatest gift. My world-my absolute everything. He will never be able to understand what he means to me. But I will show him how important it is for me to accept his siblings and do my hardest to encourage their deep connection the best way I can. I have an obligation to my son to embrace his family tree! There’s no greater bond than that of family, especially siblings! I’m an only child with many strained relationships in my extended family. I truly value the acceptance I’ve been given as a stepmom to the children that have my son’s last name and the bright blue eyes that we happen to share.

Soon after meeting my other half several years ago, I knew he was going to be given the chance to right his wrongs. I have always had faith that others would be able to see him as the father I saw. Maybe I would have to push, maybe I’d need to step back, some days just be there with him, on his team and when I knew what to do, I’d trust my instinct.

So that’s what we’ve been doing. I’m sure some would give us an F based on our son’s choices but he is a kid. Not too different than others-even his dad at that age. But the difference is that we will not give up on him this time. Or ever. And I have a hunch that he feels that.